Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Writing Paralysis

We always hear about writer's block, how writer's are stumped and don't know what to write.  Fortunately (and in no way am I bragging), I don't suffer from that and I always have something to write and when I don't I go research. My main problem is writing depression which brings on writing paralysis.

Writing depression is depression brought on by all the negatives surrounding this profession--the rejections, the delays, the long waits, the feeling that what you do isn't good enough, or on the flipside it is good enough but no one will get to see it for a myriad of reasons. It's a bleakness of our being.  The problem is compounded because not only do I feel like crap because of it, I can't write while I'm feeling like that.  I can't create a new story or tackle revisions, which is my dilemma right now. 

After I went on sub for LISTEN, I planned to tackle the intensive revisions for DRAGORO, but I've been sitting on that for a while now.  It had gotten so bad recently that I sat in front of the computer with the Word file open for a couple of hours and didn't type a thing.  I stared at the screen for a while, surfed the net, left the computer, came back and still couldn't do anything.  That's writing paralysis.  I just couldn't do anything and that pissed me off and made me more depressed.

The only thing I can do is try to fight through it.  Fortunately last night, in between watching the NBA Finals, I had a breakthrough.  A small one, but still a breakthrough.  I was able to finish the revisions on the first chapter.  A start, but it means I was able to write again.  I'm still feeling depressed, but writing helps to lift that.  That's how I was able to finish LISTEN.  I started off slow because of the paralysis, but built up steam to get it done.  I have to do the same on these revisions.  I had a breakthrough last night, and hopefully I can continue that momentum tonight when I get home from work.

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